Turns out it is really easy to confuse The Famine.  We experienced daylight savings time as we crossed the time zone line into New Mexico, which gave us two hours.  We are still trying to figure out what time it really is.  The good thing about all of this is that we learned that Andy thinks the clocks in hotel rooms are in fact atomic clocks.

Amarillo-  A few of this show’s attendees knew the lyrics, which was a big boost for us.  Before we played, I agreed to eat a book of matches for $20.  It still hasn’t happened.

Albuquerque-  Some lines got crossed and we showed up to the show way early, but it was cool because it gave us a chance to hang out with the Rose Funeral and The World We Knew guys.  All in all, I think about 8 people showed up to the show.  As fate would have it, this was our best performance of tour so far.

Now I’m watching a movie with H. Jon Benjamin and a few of the guys from the Upright Citizens Brigade.  This day has been pretty rad so far.

Don’t forget to vote!

Love,

Nick

Check it Jack.

Nick here.  This begins the series of updates for our current tour, which our tour manager Brent has dubbed the “Wing Dings and Ding Dongs” tour.  It’s catchy.  We are currently on tour with Rose Funeral and The World We Knew.  Our stint with them will take us up to Northern California, where we have a few days off.  After this, we meet up with Underoath, Saosin, and The Devil Wears Prada in Seattle.

San Antonio-  This was our first show with the guys from Rose Funeral and TWWK.  I was super pleased to find out that they are all very nice guys.  Being on tour with bands comprised of less than savory characters can be a big drag.  Not much to say about San Antonio, other than we met a really cool guy named Bruce who looks like Lance from Living Sacrifice, who looks like Dustin Hoffman.

McAllen-  We played a VFW hall a few miles from Mexico.  A few interesting things transpired during our time in McAllen, including me vomiting immediately after our set and Andy being the victim of our greatest tour prank yet, but you’ll have to get those stories in person from us.  We drove through the night to make it back to DFW  On the way out of McAllen, we were stopped by border patrol.  The officer asked Mark what was in the trailer.  His response?  Kilos of gear.

Burleson-  It was nice for us to visit our friends and families.  I took our time at home to watch four episodes of Dexter.  Andrew from Silene came up during our set and did vocals with Chris on “Death Threat.”  It was super metal.  I don’t remember too much else about the show, because I was super tired.  Dexter trumps sleep.

Wichita Falls-  This show was fun.  My roommate Jon drove from Dallas to come work merch for us, dressed as a banana.  There were a few metalheads at the show who were stoked about Andy and I having long hair.  While we were breaking down our gear, a guy in a flannel shirt and jeans tucked in to boots came up to us and offered us a “swig” of his whiskey out of a plastic bottle with no label.  We complied.  A few minutes later, my mouth started bleeding.  I found out later that he goes by the name “Old School.”  He says we are going to be big one day.

We are currently on our way to beautiful Amarillo.  The guys are trying to sleep while Brent and I see how many spins of “Hold on Loosely” by .38 Special it takes to get from Wichita Falls to Amarillo.  We are at six and a half so far.  Only three hours to go!

That’s all for now.  Don’t forget to vote.

-Nick

I’m going to pick up where I left off.

Atlanta-  We were all very jazzed about not being dead, so this show was especially fun.  The catering even included a special vegan stir-fry for me.  While the clothing (or lack thereof) of the bartenders was lacking (hardy har har), the venue itself was awesome.  The barrier between the stage and the crowd was small, but raised, which was awesome because it means that I could jump down in to the barrier gap to tickle people’s chins.  I’m a simple man with simple desires, what can I say?  After the show we stayed at Brent’s cousins house.  When we walked in, there was a shirtless dude on a futon drinking a gallon of chocolate milk and watching Amadeus.  He definitely plays in a ska band.

The next day was in Lake Buena Vista, which was the infamous House of Blues show that Disney wouldn’t let us play.  We decided to go ahead and head out to the show to hang out with the guys.  We had a little trouble getting around at first, because we didn’t have the proper credentials that had been handed out earlier in the day, but after we got it all handled things rolled smoothly.  This show was honestly one of the best of the tour.  Bummer we couldn’t play, but the other bands tore it up.  Almost every guy on the tour was rocking a Famine shirt, and telling kids about us, which was very heartwarming.  Let’s call it a bittersweet evening.

St. Petersburg- This was the greatest night of my life.  I don’t remember much about the show, but let me tell you what I do remember.  Early on in the evening, I discovered that Dark Lotus, a Psychopathic Records supergroup featuring ICP, Twiztid, and Blaze Ya Dead Homie, were playing up the street.  For those of you who live under a rock, anything having to do with ICP and/or Juggalos, is the most hilarious thing on this planet.  I vowed at this moment, around three in the afternoon, to be in attendance, and I started formulating my plan.  After we played, I walked about five blocks to the show, where I flashed my tour laminate and walked right through security.  Ladies and gentlemen, I was in the belly of the clown.

The only way that I can attempt to explain what I saw is through a disturbing simile.  Much like a veteran will tell you that the only way to understand war is to experience battle, I have to say that the only way to understand what happens at a Juggalo festival is by plunging into one headlong.  The only difference is that this was awesome.  So awesome that I needed someone with which to share my experience.  I walked back to the show and got Brent, and we breezed through security again to get back in to the show.  Keep in mind that I did not stop laughing at any point during this entire encounter.  We proceeded to watch the entire show in a state of pure bliss.  After the show ended, Brent took a picture of one of several of my hangout sessions with Juggalos, which can be found a few posts below this one.  This picture is now my myspace default, the background on my computer, the background on my phone, the background on Brent’s phone, the background on Brent’s room mate’s computer, and the absolute most amazing thing of all time.  After the novelty of the picture wears off, look very closely at the face of the dude on the left to begin the laughter cycle anew.

My name is Nick Nowell, and I love Juggalos.  I’ll post concerning the rest of the shows later.

Love,

-Nick

Here comes the longest update yet…I might need to segment this one.

Norfolk-The NorVa is the nicest venue in the world, period.  The back stage area has a basketball court, a weight room, five showers, a hot tub, a sauna, a kitchen, laundry, a pool table, a ping pong table, a foosball table, and more television sets than should be allowed by law.  Awesome.  Demon Hunter couldn’t play this one because Ryan was sick, but it ended up being a fun night.  Several of the guys from the bands hung out in a joint around the corner into the wee hours of the morning, and we had a blast.

Carrboro- Demon Hunter cancelled this show as well, so Living Sacrifice headlined and we all got to play longer sets.  Advent were about an hour from their home town, and they absolutely killed it.  I’m sure it was fantastic for them to all see their wives, friends, and girlfriends for one night after being gone for so long.  We had some technical issues during our set, but we still had a really good time.  Oh, Sleeper ripped the place apart.  The kids were buying what they were selling, and it was fantastic to behold.  After that, the mighty LS laid everything to waste.  For their encore they played “Reborn” with Matt from Advent playing Bruce’s guitar parts.  Of course, I was in the shower, and missed it.  I lose at life.

Nashville- The venue we played in Nashville is owned by Michael W. Smith, so we took to calling the place “Smitty’s Joint.”  It didn’t stick.  Anyway, the show was well attended, and the sound was great.  Demon Hunter was filming a video, so the kids went super crazy for them.  One of the guys from Paramore was at the show, but not the one I’m going to marry.  Enough of that.

Here is where I tell one of the two stories that define this tour.  I was driving from Nashville to Atlanta, through a storm in the mighty mountains of Tennessee.  Seemingly out of nowhere, the SUV directly in front of me begins to spin on the highway.  I have no choice but to swerve onto the shoulder of the road.  As the SUV begins to sping around in front of us, I am forced to drive us into the median, wheels slipping, trailer jacknifing.  We miss hitting the highway barrier by feet.  We ultimately come to a stop in the middle of the median, which is less of a median, and more of a gulley, complete with 20 degree slopes on each side of us, a flowing current of muddy rainwater beneath us, and an overpass with concrete pylons beneath it a few hundred yards in front of us.  No one is hurt, but we are stuck.  The guy who spun out in front of us was kind enough to turn around and come back to check on us.  He thanked me for my expert driving, and informed us that had I not taken us into the median, the truck behind us would have hit our trailer, which would have injured us, destroyed our trailer, and ended the tour.  He asks us if we need a ride, we tell him we have phones and should be okay, he goes on his way.

Mark attempts to straighten us out, only to find out that the trailer is pulling us sideways in the median.  He decides to attempt to get enough speed to go beneath the right side of the overpass, and hopefully shoot us back into traffic in the other direction.  As he is driving, he realizes that the trailer won’t allow a pass under the right side.  He screams “I’m going left!” and uses the momentum of the incline to whip us under the left side of the overpass, missing the concrete pylons by mere inches.  He then harnesses the momentum to ramp the right slope of the median, and spit us out into the fast lane of the highway, in our original direction.  Our van was filled with hair whips, and Texas yells.  Mark wins at life, end of story.  I will continue round two of this in the next post.

Yankees would have called a tow truck, thats all I’m saying.

Love,

-NIck

Brent slapped me to wake me up yesterday morning, and then told me George Carlin was dead.  Not the greatest way to begin things.  On to the recap…

Grand Rapids-  After Detroit, we needed a little bit of a boost, and Grand Rapids definitely came through.  The show was well attended, and members of Hatebreed and The Showdown were hanging out.  We have definitely reached the period of tour where the routine has set in.  Monotony is an overstatement, but not by much.  Grand Rapids showed us that Michigan knew how to cut loose, and we appreciate it.  Also, Shane from Oh, Sleeper wears Birkenstocks.

Cincinnati-  Our second experience in Cincy was slightly less ghetto, and was highlighted by homeless who were markedly less screamy.  Don’t worry Denver, your homeless still take the cake.  We were all pretty tired, and I don’t remember too much about this one, honestly.  I will say that this was the night that I decided to stop reading the book of Mormon, and start reading every wikipedia entry on American serial killers.  I’m at Dennis Rader right now, in case anyone was wondering.  BTK.  Super messed up dude.

Cleveland-  The first House of Blues show of the tour.  The staff and the venue were nothing short of absolutely amazing.  If any of you ever have a chance to play, or even attend a show at the House of Blues, do it.  They take care of their bands, and those in attendance.  Sadly, this show was overshadowed by some upsetting news.  Here is the unfortunate part of the evening…

Upon our arrival, we were notified that we had been removed from the bill of our June 28th show at the House of Blues in Lake Buena Vista,  Florida.  As it turns out, this particular venue is on Disney property, and all acts performing there are  therefore subject to Disney’s approval.  Someone at Disney decided that The Famine, and ONLY The Famine, do not meet Disney’s standard, and we were removed from that night’s show.  We weren’t offered much in the way of an excuse, and it looks like this is something we are just going to have to take on the chin.  Frankly, it is a disapointment, since this show promised to be one of the biggest of the tour, and our merchandise sales are what allows us to stay on tour.  We disagree with the decision, but there is not really any recourse available, so we sally forth.

Allentown-  This day will go down in infamy for what we refer to as the “Cicada Incident”.  Brent has declared himself to be more powerful than nature, science, time and sleep combined.  Until this day, he had no weakness.  We stopped to get gas, and found that the station was swarmed with cicadas.  Mark grabbed one, and Brent screamed like a girl.  A chase ensued, ending with Mark putting the cicada on Brent’s seat in the van.  Brent refused to get in until Andy disposed of the cicada.  Andy disposed of the cicada at the behest of Brent, and we readjourned to our travels.  As we were getting on the highway, Mark instructed Brent to look above his head, where Brent promptly discovered the cicada that Mark and I had placed on the ceiling above Brent.  Brent freaked out, and laughter ensued.  At one point Brent attempted to kick the cicada out of the van while traveling down the highway.  What a weiner.  We played a venue called “The Crocodile Rock”.  I feel obligated to mention that I saw many rocks, and no crocodiles at the venue.  Not even an alligator.  Anyway, this show ended up being one of the, if not the absolute hottest show of the tour.  Allow me to clarify that when I say hot, I am referring to the temperature, not the spiciness or attractiveness of the show.

Philadelphia-  We pulled in to Philly early to check out South street, the happening center of the town.  Brent and I got some awesome asian food while the boys had some cheesesteaks.  I was able to check out the Relapse Records store, and I finally found a copy of The County Medical Examiners record, which I had been seeking for some time.  The disc itself is manufactured to smell like rotten flesh.  Rock on.  I had been looking forward to playing the Trocadero the entire tour, since Neurosis headlined the Relapse festival there.  Even thin associations to Neurosis are enough to excite me.  The show was cool, and the staff was very kind.  On a scale of one to Whitesnake, the Troc earns a Faster Pussycat.  Kudos.

Towson-  Towson has good chinese food.

Love,

-Nick

I’m back with a charged computer.  Huzzah!

Louisville-  I honestly don’t remember too much about this show.  I remember the show seemed to drag on for a while, and that there was a guy with full on gauntlets in the second row while we played.

We filmed our music video for “Consume, Devour, Repeat” the next day in Cincinnati.  A charming young lad named Andy Reale directed the video.  He used to play guitar for Symphony in Peril, just for the record.  The location for our shoot was an abandoned brewery in downtown.  Just a tip, if anyone says something is “kinda in the ghetto”, they really mean that it is “definitely in the ghetto.”  Our video shoot was definitely in the ghetto.  I walked up the street to get a drink as a guy walked parallel to me on the opposite side of the road and screamed “birthday!” at me as loud as he could.

Making the video itself is probably the most strenuous thing I have ever done in my life.  Far be it from me to complain about having to shoot a music video with a full crew, but believe me, it was hard work.  We played the song about thirty times, with the emphasis being on rocking out about ten times as hard as we do live.  We all have sore backs and necks, large portions of my right arm are purple, and I managed to concrete the back of my hair from all of the cement dust in the air.  I am fairly certain that I caused my body irreversible damage making this video, but just viewing the monitor replay tells me that the damage is going to be worth it.  The video should be amazing, look for it in a month or so.  After the video we went to a mexican food restaurant in Colombus and had some hard-earned margaritas.

After dinner we went to a pharmacy so that I could get earplugs (because we have some hardcore snore action going on in this band, I’m not naming names) and so Chris could get some medicine for his cold.  In the parking lot we decided to see how far the Alrosa Village was from where we were.  For those who don’t know, the Alrosa Village is where Dimebag Darrell was murdered on stage.  Turns out it was six miles from us.  We put on “Cowboys from Hell” as loud as it would go, and set off to check it out.  This ended up being the most sobering experience of our tour.  Every member of the Famine is a diehard Pantera fan, and has their own stories about the way Pantera shaped our lives.  We pulled up to the empty club, which was in the middle of nowhere, and circled around to the back, where we found the door that the gunman used to enter the club and murder our hero.  The door was plastered with written tributes, and we took a few minutes to take in the gravity of the situation, and add our own written tribute to what we refer to as “our wailing wall.”  If you are ever in Colombus, go pay your respects.  Rest in peace, Dime.

Detroit-  I’m going to be positive about this one.  The show was not poorly attended, despite being up against a Dethklok show a few miles away.  Everyone was relatively kind to us, but really didn’t seem to be terribly into the show.  Honestly, Detroit Rock City was half asleep that night.  Hey, you win some, you lose some, right?  Playing Detroit did give Brent and I the amazing opportunity of introducing Mark and Andy to the world of the Insane Clown Posse, and to Juggalos.  Thanks to wikipedia for the information and thanks to Juggalos for the countless laughs at their expense.

That’s all for now, and remember, like KISS said…God gave rock and roll to you, gave rock and roll to you.

Love,

-Nick